Still thinking should I continue blogging? No one seems to blog anymore. Well, exam is finally over. Yes, feeling relief alot but am not happy. Why things never go the way you want it to be? Why whenever you're hoping to see the one you're waiting for, he never appear? Why when you started to care, he doesn't care anymore? I try not to think, I try to stay positive, try to just think of those happy moments but its not the same anymore. All those excuse, all those sorry just make me feel so tired. Is this all you could give me? If anything happen, let us together settle it, solve it, but why you choose to do it by yourself? You never understand what I want, so do I. All promises are fake, whenever I tried to believe it for real, it just turn me down. Sometimes i regretted, sometimes am glad. No, am not letting it go, even its hurting me inside, I won't let go anymore.

I wish I would have the time where I could sleep whenever I wanted to. The time to stop studying and rest for awhile when I've reach my max. But I know I can't, time passes so fast that even I stay infornt of the study table whole day I still didn't manage to follow my time table. I was so stressed out that everything turn negative. I can't even solve a simple math question, not even a single word goes into my mind. My brain hardly turn and I keep being interupt by my emotions. One moment am happy, next moment am sad. I think I might go crazy soon. And where were you when I needed you the most? Why everyone of you are the same? Why dumped me when you got me? I know part of it was my problem. But I don't know what should I do now. I don't want to stay another half year in Penang to retake my A2. I don't want!!!! I dont want to waste my time anymore, I want everything to follow the plan. But am really stucked. Can anyone help me please? I really have the feeling of just end everything here. 

Am alone. Do you know how it really feels when you're completely alone? When there's no one could help you when you break down into tears, when you're facing problems and theres no idea how you should solve it? I wish I was brave enough to tell you, I can't do this anymore.  Why does all my hardwork turn into nothing at this very last moment? Can I ask from God for more time? I dont want to fail again, I just wanna prove to myself that I can achieve my goal if am willing to. But what happen? Even before the war started, I already give up? Why after everything that I've done, I still cant get what I want? Why is it so hard? Why can't I overcome the fear and the emotions in me? Why do I always let the evil take control over me? What could I do now?